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You wake up in the morning feeling at peace and excited for the day ahead.
You aren't tense when you talk to your partner about ordinary life stuff. You aren't worried about a topic randomly spiralling into an argument out of nowhere.
Your vacations and date nights are filled with time for connection, laughter and closeness.
You feel heard, understood, safe and supported.
You know how to set boundaries and stick to them. You feel cherished by your partner.
You sleep soundly at night with no regrets or worries about the future.
Your energy and attention goes to creating a life you love, not trying to survive the life you are living.

What most women who are struggling with unhealthy relationship patterns don't realize is that by the time they have entered Survival Mode, much of the damage in the relationship has already been done.
The problems have been created over time as your unique programming from childhood and past relationships entangled with your partner's.
Maybe your partner is overly critical so you get defensive as a way to protect yourself from feeling unaccepted or not good enough…
Maybe you have learned to walk on eggshells in an attempt to avoid a conflict or an negative reaction from your partner.
Or maybe your resentment has built up so much over the years that you now find yourself confronting issues aggressively just trying to get your partner to hear you for once.
Or perhaps you have just completely shut down. You each retire to separate spaces for the evening and you wonder whether things will ever be different.
These are all survival tactics, but as you now realize, showing up in survival mode is creating more problems AND making solutions harder to find.

If you want to have the relationship and the life of your dreams, the one that has other women asking your what your secret is, it is time to Ditch Your Default Programming so that you can Ditch Survival Mode otherwise you are choosing to keep recreating new versions of the same problems in this or future relationships.

How your partner shows up for you is based on how you show up for you. When you change how you show up for yourself, when you step into a thriving state of being, you WILL see a shift in your partner. A big one.

Survival Mode makes you disregulated, meaning you are either blowing up in frustration or avoiding the conversations - both approaches ensure the problem lasts longer… In a Thriving State you feel emotionally stable, you handle stress well and feel positive about your future. Happiness, contentment and peace are your priority.
In Survival Mode your stress hormones are constantly elevated, leading to a slow deterioration of health… In a Thriving State your mindset supports your physical energy. You feel vibrant, strong and motivated for self care…
Survival Mode creates a narrow focus. New ideas, solutions and opportunities are blocked… In a Thriving State, you are mentally clear, open to fresh possibilities and attracting more good into your life…
Survival Mode is emotionally exhausting leaving you tired, stressed out and lacking the energy you need to show up as your best self... In a Thriving State, you have a strong sense of direction in your life, passion and confidence in yourself and your future...
Survival Mode has you searching for solutions… A Thriving State has you creating them …

You may be worried that your partner won't join you on the journey you are about to embark on. Guess what?
That is EXACTLY why it is going to be a success!
If you have been to couples therapy, you already know your partner's participation does not help. The reason so few couples report positive progress with traditional therapy is that the hurtful and toxic patterns you are trying to break make it more difficult to uncover the real reasons behind the problems.
And without that, how do you even know what it is that you are trying to change?
Most women are trying to change the symptoms of the problems without getting to the root cause.

And without uncovering and understanding that obstacle they doom themselves to a life filled with stress and feeling frustrated wondering why their partner won't show up for them.
This is why 2nd and 3rd marriages are MORE LIKELY to end in divorce than first marriages.
It's not your fault! The personal development space has spent decades focusing on teaching women how to "act" in their relationship. "Use 'I' statements. Try more date nights. Improve communication. Here's some conflict resolution skills..."
Do you want to know why it hasn't worked for you?

Does this sound familiar?
...You spend hours and even thousands of dollars in therapy only to feel like you are back at square one as soon as someone is triggered or a conflict arises.
...You set your mind to "just let things go" and end up feeling resentful and frustrated as you ruminate and have conversations in your head. It feels like there is no point to bringing stuff up because it never seems to make any difference.
...You have begged your partner to work on himself, but even if things get better for a short time, it always reverts back to the same problems.
...You don't trust your partner anymore. Perhaps because of a serious betrayal. Or maybe it's a series of smaller betrayals of the heart. But either way, I'm sure you would agree there is no way to "act" your way into trust again.

Because it is one thing to realize you have default programming that guides your behaviour, it is another thing to:
Uncover your own unique hidden beliefs that have lead you to unhealthy relationship patterns. You don't know what you don't know. They are your blind spots!
Once you do realize a false lesson and belief system that has been guiding you, releasing the belief and replacing it with new, empowering beliefs is where the true transformation occurs...
This is when you will see yourself step into the Thriving State that you are after.

I had developed a bleeding ulcer and was losing all of my hair from the stress in my relationship and knew that I needed help making a change in my life.
I don’t feel helpless anymore. I deserve joy. Group calls hit on topics that I didn’t even know that I needed to hear. I also love that it is spiritually based and there is no judgment. I finally let go of my embarrassment that I couldn’t be OK by myself. I know that my childhood, has manifested almost 60 years of feeling unloved and unwanted. I’m excited for the journey that I’m on and I know that this group will be here for me as I stumble and fall and continue to pick myself up and move forward for myself.
The sooner you start, the sooner you learn your value and what you deserve, the faster you can get to the life that's waiting for you.
There’s very few people that I trust and tell my truth to, and I honestly feel like Shari is an angel sent from heaven to help me.

We have been married for almost 30 years. Our marriage had progressively been breaking down over a 10 year period. We had stopped doing things together, almost avoiding each other. Communication was tense and almost non existent. I had no part in financial decisions and finances were almost never discussed. It seemed the love was gone and we simply tolerated each other.
I was seriously considering leaving the marriage as trying to talk about our problems always ended in an argument. Things might change for a week or so and quickly return to how they were or worse. We were both very unhappy.
It has been an 18 month journey but we are in the best place we have been in over 10 years.
We have both done a great deal of introspection, present differently to each other over disagreements and concerns and actually listen without yelling and bitterness toward each other. My husband has cut back on his drinking substantially. I have set boundaries around certain behaviours and they are respected. We are on a path of positive growth, doing many more things together and enjoying our time together.

I reached out to Shari because my hubby and I were having issues with crossing boundaries and communication. I felt at a loss. I have been married for 34 years and wasn't sure if it was over or if it was fixable.
With Shari, I learned so much about working on myself and taking care of me.
I didn't think I was going to like the group calls, but they turned out to be beneficial as you learn you are not alone out there, there is others going through similar or way worse issues.
It was a process, but my husband and I are back on track and I am feeling the love again.
Shari is easy-going, loving and understanding.
Just do this. You won't regret it!

"My husband is back to showing me respect and I finally feel good about where things are headed.
I was stuck in frustration and feeling defeated in my 10year marriage.
Working with Shari helped me realize that changing how I show up REALLY does make a big difference in how my partner treats me.
I’ve set better boundaries within my relationship. Small changes really do have big impacts, and I’ve rediscovered my joy and self-worth in ways I didn’t think were possible.
Shari's program helped me see how much control you really do have over your situation. She’s personable, a great listener, and has a fantastic sense of humor that makes the journey feel approachable and non-judgmental.
If you’re looking to feel happy and confident again, don't hesitate. It is worth every penny."
Dianne G,Alberta, Canada

We’ll start at the beginning.
Your relationship is a reflection of you in more ways than you realize. Without uncovering and understanding the belief systems that have brought you to this place there is no way to TRULY understand the problems you are facing.
How DO we find ourselves in places that we never wanted to be?
In Module 1 you identify your beliefs that have created the patterns in your relationship that don't feel good to you — without you knowing it. While we will uncover surprising information about what got you here, I have to warn you, very little of it is specific to your relationship. It is about YOU. And that is exactly why this module alone will completely change how you see yourself for the better. I guide you through the same exercises and processes I use with my VIP One-on-One clients to get you quickly shifted and moving in a new direction, so you can start showing up for yourself with with confidence and clarity.

It is time to get this right once and for all.
If you are here, I know you are the type of person who is willing to do what it takes to create the future you deserve. In this module we cover how to strategically design the relationship you love to wake up to. And...
- What to do when betrayal is part of the story.- What it really means to create healthy boundaries.- What long term trust looks like.
And more importantly, how to make the relationship you want into a reality.

“Our patterns needed to completely change and they did! It was like a total reset.”
Relationship patterns take two people to continue. This means that as you step into a new thriving version of yourself and you are no longer engaging with the patterns keeping your relationship stuck, the patterns end. But what do you replace them with?
When you know what the happiest relationship patterns look like, you get very clear any time the pattern you are engaging in doesn't match what you want. AND you know how to turn it around quickly to stop the spiral. Imagine the precious time that could be saved if you no longer have to be a part of the unhealthy conflict?!
You’ll be blown away by the response you get when you learn to seamlessly integrate these new patterns into your home life.

This is where things get real...
If you want to change your future, whether you stay in this relationship or you create a new one, you have to let go of the past.
The past that has kept you stuck, hurt, angry and may even be making you sick.
Unfortunately this is a major sticking point for a lot of women. They question if it's even possible at times.
But what they don’t realize is what it’s costing them NOT to let go. How much they’re limiting their own potential to thrive.
In this module, you’ll see some practical and transformation ways to help you let go of what has been holding you back so you can move forward towards what you want.

We can't talk about thriving without talking about money!
Many women who are struggling with their relationship feel unprepared financially. You might be worried about whether or not you can make it on your own.
If you want to shift into the new, THRIVING version you are taking into your future, this module will show you exactly how to do that while you attract abundance, and let increasing quantities flow to you.
This module contains both spiritual as well as very practical strategies for getting this area of your life to EXACTLY where you want it to be.

I had already tried other therapists and programs. I was willing to try anything to save my relationship. These classes changed me in all the best ways.
Ultimately, my relationship ended, and that was a good thing. Thanks to what I learned from Shari, I felt confident and secure moving forward. I know I can have a healthy relationship in the future because I’ve learned how to change my energy in all areas of my life and I am no longer attracting what I don't want.
My decision making has improved and it has led to really positive changes in my confidence.
If you want to make sure you don't repeat old patterns, you have nothing to lose. You’ll benefit when it comes to your relationship but also when it comes to money. It was huge for me.
Best investment I ever made.

By FAR the MODULE YOU WILL RETURN TO TIME AND TIME AGAIN when ou need a pick me up or a refresher.
Many of the patterns you have practice in your life since childhood run deep. This module will serve as a set of tools for you to choose from to help remain calm, stay motivated and inspired, and step into a powerful state of being when you really to...
This will be an ever growing library that is sure to make the LIFETIME ACCESS feel like the biggest gift you have ever given yourself.

I created Relationships By Design to be the most transformative, easiest way for you to go from stressed out, defeated and overwhelmed with your relationship to thriving, confident and happy with the live you wake up to everyday.
But I also created it to be a supportive community that helps you stay accountable to your goals and your progress. So that’s why Relationships By Design also includes 2 live group coaching calls each month.
Got a question? Doubts? Uncertainties? Something – anything – not making sense?
We have a ton of laughs, it gets real and you have all your questions answered
I’VE GOT YOU COVERED.

"I was having an unhappy marriage, unhappy kids and home, constant fighting, and feeling generally stuck in life.

Since working with Shari, I have been able to manage my response to conflict better which has led to less fighting and improved communication with my husband and kids. My husband and I were regularly discussing divorce and we are now having more discussions about resolving problems and moving forward.
I have learned to make goals for my life and live more intentionally which has given me a feeling of purpose I haven’t had for much of my adult life.
Shari has an amazing gift of meeting you where you are, showing you that wherever that is, is ok, and allowing you to grow and improve. She is also super relatable, and the supportive and tell-you-what-you-need (not want) to hear kind of friend we all need.

I had tried therapy, leaving the house, threatening divorce. I was feeling so helpless and hopeless.
My husband and I were completely disconnected and I felt trapped in the marriage. Thus, I was descending into a depression without a support system because we had just moved far from home, too.
"In only my third week of the program, I have felt an instantaneous shift in my perspective. My hope has returned and I feel safer, because I realized the power I had within myself to take back control of my life.
During my first call, I had been handed a life raft in the middle of the ocean I was drowning in. During the second, I was handed an oar! It may still feel like I’m out at sea, but the horizon is visible and with each call/video I am handed another life-saving tool. ”

Women who work with me say that this is without a doubt the best way to figure out your relationship and gain the confidence to move forward with total clarity knowing you will have no regrets.
It opens you up to parts of yourself that you did not know were there so that you can release the limiting beliefs, default programming and resentments that have been keeping you from the love, ease and peace you want in your life. You start thinking like a Thriving Woman quicker than you could on your own. And then you get everything you need to act like one to. It approaches relationships like no other program out there. (And I have many women who will vouch!) But… it’s definitely not for everyone.
If you’re looking for an easy button or a place to discuss everything that is wrong with your partner, this is not for you.

The first choice is to choose to do nothing. And as you already know, if you choose nothing... then nothing changes.
BUT, if you already know that you want to make sure you are walking into the next few months with without the stress and conflict and overwhelm that you've been living with, then your choice is obvious: join me inside Relationship By Design and start your transformation to knowing exactly how to show up for your self in relationships so that you become the thriving, happy, confident woman you know you want to be.
Simply click the button below and my team & I will be waiting for you inside!
But if you’re still on the fence, wondering whether to take the leap, let me share one last thought with you, maybe you're thinking...